so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
NoShamevember. You game?
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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