the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
the bastard is cheating on me with some sleazy barista from Starbucks
That’s his wife they’re back together
You say potato, I say sleazy barista
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