It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
It's like a parade of train wrecks.
So.. My internet got red-flagged at work because i did a search on "midigit strippers las vegas" This may be hard to explain...
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I convinced myself I had a sixth toe and then I ripped it off. So I PRAY you're doing better than me.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
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