My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Too hungover to brush my teeth. took a swig of menthol schnapps instead. lazy or incredibly efficient?
Youre my hero
I love you.
Bad choice
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