mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
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