ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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