break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
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