it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Randomize