There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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