how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
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He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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