there's paper in my vomit.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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