His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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