my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize