Whoa!!! Accidentally took a dump in chick's bathroom at Red Robin. 1 hr for coast to be clear. Women's farts sound like geese taking last breath. Liars.
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize