Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
If I get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to celebrate. If I don't get the job, I'm gonna get wasted to forget. Win-Win
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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