'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
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