Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize