I left my keys in the garlic bread freezer in Publix.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
Randomize