They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
I want to snug with you.
You want my snuggie?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
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I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
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I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
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