i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
Randomize