um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
I woke up with glitter in my wounds.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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