it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize