The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
Made a holiday JibJab of all my fucks. How's your night?
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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