people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize