yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
and she was petting her beer can
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Randomize