And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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