the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
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im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
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Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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