happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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