After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
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