Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
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