Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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