I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Someone shat in the 1st floor west girls hall. Literally SHAT in the hallway
That's what she gets for taking his peeps.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
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APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
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deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
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