Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
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Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'll give you $10 to get a dick pic with a gecko on it.
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
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Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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