sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
i either got mauled last night by a velociraptor or an angry lipstick lesbian. could have been both
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize