Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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