Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
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