Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Do you know how to get blood out of tile grout?
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
It's Friday you fucking nerd of course I'm drunk.
Randomize