Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
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Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Your babysitter texted, wants me to pay with weed. I don't know where to get any & don't want to. Will she take cigarettes instead? Or um, cash? Like a person?
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
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