i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
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