She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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