dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
genius idea. im gonna paint my penis green like the serpent of sex
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
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