I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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