omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
She puked in the bank of America parking lot? Awesome.
Yeah, figured I'd deposit my check while we were there.
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Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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