I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
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Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
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Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize