i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
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we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
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Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
He's my BOYFRIEND but he won't sext me. I'll be like, "tell me how you want to fuck me", and he's like, "I love how we can talk about our feelings". FUCK
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
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