Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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