So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
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You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
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i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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