The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
Randomize