Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Men with bald spots should not have mohawks. Just in case you didn't know.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
Randomize