eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
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